This is very important information for all snowboarders. Please share these 5 things snowboarders need to know if they date a skier far and wide. Make sure all your shred buddies read it so they are prepared, just in case they accidentally form a relationship with a skier.
Please note this article is just a bit of fun. It is written in response to ‘5 Things to Know Before Dating a Snowboarder‘ which I recently read on Powder: The skiers Magazine. As this article is a parody of Powder’s article we strongly recommend you give it a read (they are of course very wrong…).
As a snowboarder who was with a skier for many years, I found The Powder article a very thoughtful piece. However, it is completely lacking the snowboarders point of view. Which I will of course share here…
When you’re a snowboarder, dating someone who also happens to slide on snow in a slightly different way is no big deal at all. Skiers will of course make it into a big deal, just as they make using the ski slopes slightly differently into a very big deal. But the reality is we are all just sliding on snow. Whether that is with one or two planks makes little difference.
Most snowboarder skier relationships tend to take root in apres ski bars. The snowboarders completely devoid of foot pain and ski pole up the bum inhibitions lure skiers into dancing and fun times. What happens next is not for a family publication like this, and anyway snowboarders do not kiss and tell!
Unlike skiing which (and I quote from Powder) is “not just something that we do for fun” snowboarding is purely about enjoyment. It is not a means of travel, a form of foot torture or an upper class way for families to argue whether to get fondue or raclette. Snowboarding is purely about fun. And how much fun you can have is influenced by who you spend time with on the mountain.
With that key thought in mind, spending time with a skier could reduce your fun times. But this will only happen if you don’t keep in mind these five things snowboarders need to know if they date a skier:
Unfortunately most skiers are never given the choice to slide sideways. From an early age they had their feet wedged into rigid plastic boots and were indoctrinated into a life of skiing via the ‘Pizza. Chips. Pizza. Chips. Pizza. Chips.’ mantra. They know no better and left to their own devices will force the same upon the next generation.
They will of course have been taught about skiing history, how it was created long before snowboarding (unless we consider ‘Petranboarding’ in Turkey) which of course makes it superior. After all, throughout history nothing new ever improved upon something old. And those fat skis that make powder skiing so easy were around long before the technological advances instigated by snowboarding…
If your partner is a “skier who wouldn’t be caught dead on a snowboard even on gaper day” then you can rest assured that they will never understand snowboarding. They will show interest by bringing up Blink 182, Shaun White and Burton Snowboards, but as much as you love them for it they won’t actually understand your answers. Best to stick to you shared love of Apres and nachos instead.
Put any groups of skiers together without the joy a snowboarder for long enough and some will become bitter snowboardists. These anti-snowboard members will do what they can to make a sideways shredder uncomfortable. For example, sitting either side of them on a chairlift so the boarder can’t use the footrest or turning right in front of them on the lift exit when snowboarders are at their weakest with only one foot strapped in.
The key to fighting the barriers of snowboarderism is to showing the pure joy of snowboarding. If the skiers schuss off while you are still strapping in don’t get angry or chase after them. Instead take your time, do some ground tricks, follow your nose to some untouched powder and gracefully hit side-hits. So when you overtake them all angrily stood in a landing zone ensure you are beaming from ear to ear with pure joy.
While waiting for your skiing partner it is best to sit or kneel in the middle of the piste. This is not the ideal spot to safely stop but skiers are like sheep and all follow each other down the middle of the slope. If you wait at the edge they will be unlikely to see you. Furthermore, if they do notice you they will feel uncomfortable getting so close to the ‘offpiste’ and could ‘blame’ you if they stray off it.
If your partner is a freerider then half your work is already done. They will welcome the breather provided by you putting your splitboard together and will appreciate the far more creative lines you take in the backcountry. Be gracious if they offer you a spare jacket and for the endless reminders there is a flat section coming up. Be ever patient with their stereotypical ideas about snowboarding, energy drinks, alcohol and weed.
Always be there to pick up the pieces when a skier yard sales. It shows dignity to help a fellow slope user even if you have no idea how to attach a ski to a boot. It also helps give us a good name in the skiing vs snowboarding debate.
There is no need for you to apply any pressure for your skiing partner to become a snowboarder. And if they do want to learn, do not under any circumstances offer to teach them. That is a short cut to a messy separation. Enrol them on a snowboard course if they want to learn. But the goal is never to ‘convert’ them to sliding the way you prefer, far better they slide the way they are good at so you can both ride more advanced stuff together.
But just by spending time on the slopes with your skiing partner they will see the joy of snowboarding. They will begin to understand that the mountain is a blank canvas for you, or them, to paint their own picture. Which leads us to the ultimate goal – for them to ski with a snowboarders attitude.
We want them to ditch the repressed and robotic ‘must ski technically correct’ attitude and funless use of snow sliding as a form of transport around a ski area. In its place the fun and free, experimental and expressive snowboarding style of skiing will lead to them having much more fun.
Oh and if they should give you a tow or lend you a pole from time to time it would be great!
We hope you found these 5 things snowboarders need to know if they date a skier useful. Remember it was just a bit of fun in response to the article in Powder. Be sure to check out our snowboarding holidays worldwide to plan your next trip (with or without a skier).